A wise woman once told me; “Until you can receive your medicine from yourself, you will lack authority to deliver this medicine to those that are calling for it”.
By not claiming this medicine I allowed myself to live in denial and be continually sacrificed for the benefit of others. I thought that by doing this, I was protecting them from the cruelty that I was exposed too. In reality, I was creating excuses to be taken advantage of.
I deprived myself of my medicine for so long that when it was placed in front of me, I no longer recognised it.
It was an even harsher reality to realise that I had taught myself to be repulsed by the very essence of my medicine because I believed I no longer deserved to receive it.
“I am dirty, I am sinful, I deserve to be punished, no one will accept me, I am not pure, I am not worthy.”
These are the thoughts that began to rise from the shadows of my mind. I felt it seeping like tar from my being and it was weighing me down.
In the thick of the abyss I scraped together the last of my light and sent it to the heavens.
In this moment of silence the heavens opened and I was shown the purity of my Soul.
It was a profound experience that left me with many things to consider and decisions to be made.
As a witness to my own shadow, I was able to receive the medicine that allows me to call forward and witness the shadow in my kindred tribe.
Are you ready to heed the call?